her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
