After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
