Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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