Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
pray to the hookup gods
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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