I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
