Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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