So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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