you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
