all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
