What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
