its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
