You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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