I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
