this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
