I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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