Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
