I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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