No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
