Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
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