he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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