First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
