Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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