The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
