what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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