oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
