It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
