I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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