I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
