can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
