So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
