He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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