In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
