I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
