I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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