i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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