Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
