I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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