it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize