Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
