I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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