bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
