I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
