My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
