So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
