My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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