Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
