Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
