Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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