Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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