Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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