yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
