wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I am one with the molecules
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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