My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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