guys are only as good as the porn they watch
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
His nipple licking is glorious
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