Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize