like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize