Welp...herpes.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
