so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
