Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
