if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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