We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
