eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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