I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
