Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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