The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
