So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
