he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
