He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
